Last week on my Facebook page I shared with you that I’d had a very good coaching session/reading. And I say this, because of the things it unlocked/revealed to me.
Now I don’t believe that I would’ve got here without all the work I’ve done for myself over the last few years, chipping away at and healing all manner of past pains; unfolding learning that needed to take place; amplifying all the gratitudes I needed to hold in my heart; and expanding my spiritual and energetic capacity and capability beyond my imagining.
That aside, this most recent coaching, revealed some childhood trauma that I have an emotional memory of but not a mental memory of (yet, and possibly never will, who knows).
Since the session, I’ve had lots more release in my meditations, which including lots of crying, and during my day-to-day this has resulted in my behaviour being a little withdrawn/quiet, because I’ve been feeling into the sad, shame, blame of this trauma. As it’s unfolded an avalanche of other events/experiences that that have been connected to the impact of this trauma that I’ve needed to understand, heal, acknowledge and release have revealed themselves and still continue to.
Here’s the bit of importance from this post, over the weekend, due to a prior commitment, I’ve distracted and busied myself. Through this I’ve managed to put my thoughts and feelings aside on this traumatic event and focus on helping my friend with her business.
My experience has been this:
- Every time I stopped even for a moment the thoughts from the trauma would fill my mind, and other things would start to come up
- I’d quickly get busy again, forget what came up and then the above would happen again
- I’ve been working so many hours that my meditations for the few days were not fully engaged emotionally because I was tired
- When I stopped to do a little meditation on Sunday during a break , after I’d had a glass of wine, I almost burst into tears, and had to do some controlled breathing to stop it
What I’ve “smack in the face” realised is that when you need to deal with your shit you need to deal with your shit. It’s not going to go away, and when you try to hide it away or busy yourself or try to ignore it…the smack in the face becomes a bigger and bigger big fat wallop. I’m not wanting to experience the wallop so I’ll be doing as much listening as I can to dig deep, choosing and moving into healing, peace, forgiveness and gratitude around this trauma so I can become more and more aligned with the best and highest version of me. I can’t say that it’s fun or easy, but I trust and am starting to feel more whole and more connected.
What techniques have you used to work through your traumatic events?